If you are reading this, you are probably familiar with the power of gratitude. To be grateful for whatever happens, is a quality that all achievers claim among their strengths. It is a must-have attitude for success. But the part left unsaid is, how does one develop that attitude of gratitude?
To achieve this, let us first understand what stops us from being grateful for everything as it happens. Take a pause and make a guess.
We love to blame
It is our ego’s desire to be the victim. For as a victim, our ego owns a story that draws others to us and gets them to commiserate with us. We say, “Xyz happened to me,” and they say “Oh really! How unfair!” / “You deserve better…” / How could they do that to you?” When we get such responses we feel validated. Supported… sometimes only by our own self-talk.
By accepting whatever comes our way as a blessing that happens ‘for’ us instead of ‘to’ us, we can flip our perspective on the very same occurrence without being a victim. By being a ‘Victor’ that has received the blessing with gratitude, because “Xyz happened for me.” A one-word switch and our life is eternally blessed, with everything happening ‘for’ us. We really go with the flow!
By recognizing the blessing while it happens, we fast-forward the later realizations of ‘blessings in disguise’ and therefore we live our life as an undisguised blessing, 24×7 in gratitude! “Thank you for making Xyz happen for me… it might still have to be revealed what was the good part in this occurrence, but I believe it was in my best interest.” With an attitude of gratitude, this becomes our self-talk.
So how does one develop this attitude?
A habit of being grateful
As with every other thing we do that brings us results, we must convert the behavioral pattern into a habit. So here is what I recommend.
Every night before turning in, pick up a bedside pad and write 5 events of that day. Events, which you believe did not go quite as you would have liked them to go. These can include things that people said, unpredicted situations, extenuating circumstances, altercations or disagreements. They can even be thoughts that formed in your mind, which set you in a bad mood.
Now that you have 5 lines there, flip your perspective about them to see how they could be good for you. Use your imagination.
Let us say, a series traffic signals got you delayed for a job interview. Let’s say the interviewer bypassed you and you lost your chance. Now here’s a flip… thanks to the traffic lights, you were late that day, but then, tardiness is a deeply ingrained habit for you. Thanks that the other party chose to not engage you; you would have suffered daily pressure and unnatural stress about being on time by working there.
Maybe a few years later you would realize that you are in a happier place, more relaxed and healthy than your peers in the company that rejected you. And then you would think of the traffic lights as ‘blessings in disguise.’ Or you can bless them in your bedside pad, as and you make 5 such switches every night, not before long you will cultivate a habit of learning to switch your perspective over – from ‘to’ to ‘for’ – in real time!
Now start on it! Put a pad and pen beside your bed before you do anything else! Best wishes 😊