From the point of view of ancient oriental wisdom, everything is comprised of a yin and a yang. The yin is typically the feminine, cooler side and the yang is the masculine, hotter side of everything and everyone. There is fluidity within these states and balance is the goal. Furthermore, our emotions are governed by 5 major organ-elements of which the Liver houses Anger and the Spleen houses Worry.
A passive-aggressive nature is the result of the a person’s rise of Anger and Worry. And what fuels Anger? Fear, which is housed in the Kidneys.
Clinically, this person’s blood is really contaminated – which happens when the Kidneys don’t perform and so the Liver stores bad blood, which the Spleen can’t adequately cleanse. It is a viscous cycle, which makes the affected person outwardly difficult to deal with.
So does one deal with them by making them squirm?
Continuing the argument above, making the affected person squirm would accentuate discomfort and Fear. This might make the person shut up, but is not therapeutic.
Here are 3 ways to deal with a Passive-Aggressive person:
- Understand that passive-aggressive is a condition and not a personality. The affected is a patient and not a problem. Reduce the causes of Fear, Anger, and Worry from his/her life and reassure kindly while you do so.
- Deal with silence. Do not talk much and do not elicit response. The person needs to drink and release more water than usual (by crying, sweating, and urinating). Create circumstances for that to occur in his/her environment.
- Remove sour and sweet from their diet. As you minimize it, they will not object because it will suit their energy system.
Remember, the goal is to not make them uncomfortable, but to shift them energetically. These ways work in concert to balance the yin-yang energies and bring sustainable change in ways modern science has not discovered yet.
The way to understand this is through the body-mind-spirit trinity. Albert Einstein – the first modern scientist to acknowledge the omnipresence of energy – observed that we cannot solve any problem using the same level of thinking that created the problem.
Hence, the mind can solve a body problem using psychotherapy, affirmations, and even meditation/yoga. But what of a mind/emotional problem? The only sustainable solution lies in working with the spirit, or energy.
Compassion is the key.
A passive-aggressive person, when dealt with compassion, senses that the measures we are attempting to take are for their benefit. The Worry and Anger resident could be deep at a subconscious level and so people around will require patience. Without that, anything we do will be counter-productive to a turn-around. It will merely feed the ego of the ones who are “making their intolerance clear.”